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Zarte Siempre

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An artist's impression of Zarte Siempre.

Zarte Siempre was a contestant in Series 69, is a member of Apterous and c4countdown, and is the innovator of FOCAL. He is also head of the Meringue Defence League and is directly descended from Genghis Khan and Colin 'Big Col' Steadman. As of 2016, Siempre holds three Michelin stars - one more than Marcus Wareing.

He attended CobliviLon in 2012, actually winning 7 games out of 6. However, history has unfortunately and cruelly been amended so that it officially says that he came in 18th place, which is still respectable, especially as he was crouching for the entirety of the tournament.

His first tournament of 2013 was in Lincoln, finishing in a very solid 15th place with 4 wins out of 6. He later went to CO:REA 2013, finishing on 3 wins and 463 points to ensure another top-15 finish. This time, however, he did not get horrendously drunk during and after the tournament and later fall into a suitcase. Zarte was also the overall victor in Group B at Countdown in Leamington Spa, winning a magical unicycle and a leprechaun in the process.

2014 saw him come runner-up to Series 63 champion Jack Hurst at COLIN X, while in August he won CoMultiLon after the final against James Robinson was cancelled - with Siempre having the most points throughout the day, he was declared the winner. Later that evening, he won the inaugural Apterous Ring Of Fire tournament, having seen off Jamie 'Laverty' McNeill with a reference to Stiliyan Petrov's scrotum.

He co-hosted the 2013 version of CobliviLon with Amie Bateen, and is running the first ever Countdown in Milton Keynes tournament in August 2015. It is widely believed that Siempre hosted most of the Countdown Marathon between Innis Carson and Mark Deeks, but in reality it was actually just a very convincing holographic image of him.

Siempre made his televised debut on 24 July 2013, delivering a convincing 118 – 76 defeat to Rory Coleman. Four more victories followed, including a top score of 137 (at the time, the eighth highest score ever) before losing at the hands of Dylan Taylor both in the Countdown contest and the personality stakes, although Siempre's win in their backstage beauty contest offered some consolation as he triumphally maxed the swimwear round. In his heats, Siempre averaged 109.33 points per game - the highest ever average for a non-octochamp. He didn't make the finals despite scoring 656 points (48 points higher than the number 8 seed Gemma Church) but he only amassed 5 wins compared to Church's 6.

His contributions to Apterous have included organising the long-running Aptotude League series and an Apterous version of gameshow The Mole, famed for annoying the hell out of anyone who wants to play a spot of Saturday night Apterous.

He was the winner of Countdown in St Albans 2016.


# Date Type Contestant 1 Score Contestant 2 Guest Lex Max
5739 24/07/2013 P Rory Coleman 76 – 118 Zarte Siempre Jon Culshaw Susie Dent 130
5740 25/07/2013 P Zarte Siempre 114 – 34 Ian Talbot Jon Culshaw Susie Dent 127
5741 26/07/2013 P Zarte Siempre 103 – 49 Brenda Widger Jon Culshaw Susie Dent 123
5742 29/07/2013 P Zarte Siempre 137 – 41 Michelle Furnell Dan Walker Susie Dent 143
5743 5/08/2013 P Zarte Siempre 103 – 26 Sam Wheeler Dan Walker Susie Dent 124
5744 6/08/2013 P Zarte Siempre 81 – 120 Dylan Taylor Dan Walker Susie Dent 121
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